Mobile phone company Mobitel are embroiled in a fight to keep a jinxed number out of circulation.
The telephone number 666-666-666 has been linked with the deaths of all the people who've owned it in bizarre and unlikely circumstances. Russian trapeze artist, Vasily Kudenkeepagripov, crashed to the ground in a previously death-defying stunt, whilst Indian tightrope walker, Balan Singh, met an untimely end when he plunged into the Grand Canyon in a previously death-defying stunt, following news that Swiss yodelling champion, Hans Sheepworrier, was trampled to death by his flock of sheep following a previously death-defying stunt.
However, a private individual has come forward to claim the number for his own, insisting that the jinx will not affect him. Mobitel would prefer to keep the number under wraps but are unsure how long this will remain the case, since the individual, named only as a Mr. B.L. Zebub, appears to have some powerful friends who are said to be pressurising the company.
Tuesday, 25 May 2010
Thursday, 20 May 2010
True Life Story!
Ninjas rescue victim from thugs! Gotta love this ...
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/national/ninjas-rescue-student-from-thugs/story-e6frf7l6-1225868928257
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/national/ninjas-rescue-student-from-thugs/story-e6frf7l6-1225868928257
London 2012 Mascots Unveiled
LOCOG, the organising committee of the London Olympic Games have revealed the mascots for 2012.
Following the outrage over the cost of the Olympic logo but hoping to appeal to children worldwide, Lord Coe approved the implemetation of lifesize working models of the BBC's Dick and Dom, confirming that their quirky brand of slapstick fitted perfectly with his vision of the London Olympics. Puppet operators for Dick and Dom are said to be thrilled with the decision, stating it a "real honour" that their characters will be used.
Auditions for volunteers wishing to play Dick or Dom in their neighbourhood, in the run up to and throughout the Games themselves, will be held locally -details can be found on your local BBC website.
Following the outrage over the cost of the Olympic logo but hoping to appeal to children worldwide, Lord Coe approved the implemetation of lifesize working models of the BBC's Dick and Dom, confirming that their quirky brand of slapstick fitted perfectly with his vision of the London Olympics. Puppet operators for Dick and Dom are said to be thrilled with the decision, stating it a "real honour" that their characters will be used.
Auditions for volunteers wishing to play Dick or Dom in their neighbourhood, in the run up to and throughout the Games themselves, will be held locally -details can be found on your local BBC website.
Sunday, 16 May 2010
Sunday Film Supplement: How to Train Your Dragon
A new 3D version of this now legendary business classic has gone on general release around the country.
With further scenes added in following James Caan's recent appearance at the Kent 20/20 (he was unfortunately caught and bowled on 47, just shy of his maiden 50), business leaders throughout the country hailed the business model he proclaimed would help them train the dragons in their business dealings, as the most forward thinking management course they've ever heard.
A spokesman for Caan said the Dragon was thrilled with both the response to his speech and the takings at the cinema, whilst dismissing claims that the other dragons, Duncan, Theo, Deborah and Peter were fuming that they hadn't thought of making the docu-drama first.
The film's distributors also denied they were producing a 3D remake of Hotel for Dogs, where Jodie Marsh and Katie Price would take over the running of Paris Hilton.
With further scenes added in following James Caan's recent appearance at the Kent 20/20 (he was unfortunately caught and bowled on 47, just shy of his maiden 50), business leaders throughout the country hailed the business model he proclaimed would help them train the dragons in their business dealings, as the most forward thinking management course they've ever heard.
A spokesman for Caan said the Dragon was thrilled with both the response to his speech and the takings at the cinema, whilst dismissing claims that the other dragons, Duncan, Theo, Deborah and Peter were fuming that they hadn't thought of making the docu-drama first.
The film's distributors also denied they were producing a 3D remake of Hotel for Dogs, where Jodie Marsh and Katie Price would take over the running of Paris Hilton.
Tuesday, 11 May 2010
Outrage Over Winning Party Forming Coalition Government Shock!
British politics was sent into turmoil tonight, when Conservative leader, David Cameron, accepted the Queen's invitation to form her next government, after his party won more seats in Parliament than any other individual party.
The decision came as a huge blow to some British people who didn't vote for them, not least because it's the way it has generally worked in the past.
SNP leader Alex Salmond was especially scathing, saying: "85% of the Scottish people didn't vote for a Tory government" whilst conveniently forgetting that 100% of English people didn't vote for the SNP, yet would have ended up with SNP MPs having more of a say than most English MPs in the running of their lives, had the self-styled Losers Coalition come to fruition.
Liberal Democrat and erstwhile "Kingmaker" Nick Clegg, however, has promised electoral reform by way of scrapping the outmoded democratic process of a general election in future and forming the One Big Happy Family Party in five years time, proposing to ip-dip a cabinet out of whoever turns up in Downing Street on the day, since this would clearly save us all the bother of staying up all night for nothing.
The decision came as a huge blow to some British people who didn't vote for them, not least because it's the way it has generally worked in the past.
SNP leader Alex Salmond was especially scathing, saying: "85% of the Scottish people didn't vote for a Tory government" whilst conveniently forgetting that 100% of English people didn't vote for the SNP, yet would have ended up with SNP MPs having more of a say than most English MPs in the running of their lives, had the self-styled Losers Coalition come to fruition.
Liberal Democrat and erstwhile "Kingmaker" Nick Clegg, however, has promised electoral reform by way of scrapping the outmoded democratic process of a general election in future and forming the One Big Happy Family Party in five years time, proposing to ip-dip a cabinet out of whoever turns up in Downing Street on the day, since this would clearly save us all the bother of staying up all night for nothing.
Monday, 10 May 2010
Shock Announcement From Downing Street
Gordon Brown today stepped out from Number 10 Downing Street to confirm his resignation as Prime Minister.
Political commentators were unsurprised at the timing of the announcement, coming as it did just hours after Gillingham FC confirmed that manager Mark Stimson was stepping aside. It's well known to Labour Party activists that Gordon has long hankered after a managerial role in the world of football, his first love, and the situation at the Kent side has proven to be too much of an attraction.
It has now been revealed that Mr Brown's high profile visit to Strood at the beginning of the election campaign, did in fact mask a secret meeting with Gills chairman, Paul Scally, who made a tentative offer to the PM that same day - should Gordon lose the election and Gillingham be relegated, the door to Priestfield would be wide open for the Labour man to bring his leadership qualities to the dressing room - as soon as he chose to step down as PM. Which of course fits perfectly with the new season beginning in September.
Mr Scally said he was confident that Gordon's legendary staying power would have a fantastic effect on the team's chances of remaining in League Two, and, maybe, with a bit of luck and support from the other teams in Division Two, even being promoted back to Division One.
Political commentators were unsurprised at the timing of the announcement, coming as it did just hours after Gillingham FC confirmed that manager Mark Stimson was stepping aside. It's well known to Labour Party activists that Gordon has long hankered after a managerial role in the world of football, his first love, and the situation at the Kent side has proven to be too much of an attraction.
It has now been revealed that Mr Brown's high profile visit to Strood at the beginning of the election campaign, did in fact mask a secret meeting with Gills chairman, Paul Scally, who made a tentative offer to the PM that same day - should Gordon lose the election and Gillingham be relegated, the door to Priestfield would be wide open for the Labour man to bring his leadership qualities to the dressing room - as soon as he chose to step down as PM. Which of course fits perfectly with the new season beginning in September.
Mr Scally said he was confident that Gordon's legendary staying power would have a fantastic effect on the team's chances of remaining in League Two, and, maybe, with a bit of luck and support from the other teams in Division Two, even being promoted back to Division One.
Thursday, 6 May 2010
UKIP's Last Ditch Bid for Victory
Since the 2010 General Election has been fought along the lines of Britain's favourite reality shows, UKIP today went for the lifeline of those less fancied contestants of those shows, the sympathy vote.
The party's chief spokesman and MEP, Nigel Farage, was taking part in an aerial stunt that was just meant to skim the surface of the landing field, leaving them with minor cuts and bruises, however, the light aircraft suddenly plummeted to the ground, trapping both him and the pilot, Justin Adams. Rescuers were on hand within minutes and both men are now recovering in hospital.
A deputy spokesman for UKIP said: "We're not entirely clear as what happened during the stunt, as advice on how to plummet correctly had been taken from the best Hollywood stuntman." In reply to criticisms of unfair pressure placed on UK voters, he added: "Yes, it might be considered a little extreme, but a little sympathy can go a long way in a vote off."
Farage's UKIP rosette was said to be recovering well, but there is growing concern for the shoes worn by the pilot, as their whereabouts is currently unknown.
The party's chief spokesman and MEP, Nigel Farage, was taking part in an aerial stunt that was just meant to skim the surface of the landing field, leaving them with minor cuts and bruises, however, the light aircraft suddenly plummeted to the ground, trapping both him and the pilot, Justin Adams. Rescuers were on hand within minutes and both men are now recovering in hospital.
A deputy spokesman for UKIP said: "We're not entirely clear as what happened during the stunt, as advice on how to plummet correctly had been taken from the best Hollywood stuntman." In reply to criticisms of unfair pressure placed on UK voters, he added: "Yes, it might be considered a little extreme, but a little sympathy can go a long way in a vote off."
Farage's UKIP rosette was said to be recovering well, but there is growing concern for the shoes worn by the pilot, as their whereabouts is currently unknown.
Tuesday, 4 May 2010
Alesha Told To Toughen Up
BBC bosses have told judge Alesha Dixon that she must be tougher with the contestants in the next series of Strictly Come Dancing.
And to help with this, they've enrolled the R&B singing ex-winner in an Army Boot Camp, where she'll be put through her paces by ex-SAS men in an effort to bash any soft tendencies out of her.
In a similar but slightly different course of action, Craig Revel Horwood will be sent to a Pamper Camp the week before the show begins, to leave him happy and relaxed and therefore less stingingly critical of the contestants. A spokesman for the Corporation stated: "It worked last year, Craig was in a much better mood throughout the entire show. In fact, it was Bruno who became Mr. Nasty."
And reports are that Bruno is already fuming about the special treatment for Craig and Alesha, but the spokesman dismissed this: "Bruno was given the option of Army Boot Camp or Pamper Camp, he just couldn't make up his mind which one he'd prefer and demanded to go on both. Well, the Corporation can't afford that at this time - Len's settled for a weekend at a real ale festival; Bruno was told in no uncertain terms to take his pick or stay at home, alone."
And to help with this, they've enrolled the R&B singing ex-winner in an Army Boot Camp, where she'll be put through her paces by ex-SAS men in an effort to bash any soft tendencies out of her.
In a similar but slightly different course of action, Craig Revel Horwood will be sent to a Pamper Camp the week before the show begins, to leave him happy and relaxed and therefore less stingingly critical of the contestants. A spokesman for the Corporation stated: "It worked last year, Craig was in a much better mood throughout the entire show. In fact, it was Bruno who became Mr. Nasty."
And reports are that Bruno is already fuming about the special treatment for Craig and Alesha, but the spokesman dismissed this: "Bruno was given the option of Army Boot Camp or Pamper Camp, he just couldn't make up his mind which one he'd prefer and demanded to go on both. Well, the Corporation can't afford that at this time - Len's settled for a weekend at a real ale festival; Bruno was told in no uncertain terms to take his pick or stay at home, alone."
Monday, 3 May 2010
Man Arrested in Connection With Retail Park Fires
A man was arrested in the early hours of this morning, following the arson attacks on DIY stores, Homebase and B&Q in Aylesford Retails Park in Kent.
Neighbours called police to an address in Ditton, expressing concerns for the couple living there after hearing banging, crashing and screaming. Police broke down the door to find the man cowering under a set of steps, while a woman, believed to be his wife, stood over him threatening him with a paint brush and paint pot.
The un-named man, believed to be in his fifties, is said to have been taken to a secure institution to undergo psychological checks, after he told police that he physically couldn't face doing any more painting and decorating this bank holiday weekend. He felt his only choice was to burn down the B&Q and Homebase where she kept making him go to buy more materials and has apparently expressed regret.
A spokesman for the men's charity group, S.N.A.W.D.I.E** who have been campaigning for a reduction in the hours spent by husbands on home DIY during bank holiday weekends, called for an immediate end to DIY stores having sales and special offers at such a vulnerable time.
**Stop Nagging And We'll Do It Eventually
Neighbours called police to an address in Ditton, expressing concerns for the couple living there after hearing banging, crashing and screaming. Police broke down the door to find the man cowering under a set of steps, while a woman, believed to be his wife, stood over him threatening him with a paint brush and paint pot.
The un-named man, believed to be in his fifties, is said to have been taken to a secure institution to undergo psychological checks, after he told police that he physically couldn't face doing any more painting and decorating this bank holiday weekend. He felt his only choice was to burn down the B&Q and Homebase where she kept making him go to buy more materials and has apparently expressed regret.
A spokesman for the men's charity group, S.N.A.W.D.I.E** who have been campaigning for a reduction in the hours spent by husbands on home DIY during bank holiday weekends, called for an immediate end to DIY stores having sales and special offers at such a vulnerable time.
**Stop Nagging And We'll Do It Eventually
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